Jokes for Film Composers

Guest Post: Jonathan Feist is the author of Project Management for Musicians, published by Berklee Press, distributed by Hal Leonard.

Here’s a joke about a film composer that I like to tell to my project management students—among other reasons, because there just aren’t enough jokes about film composers, out there! It nearly made it into my book, Project Management for Musicians, but I had to cut it out, due to space constraints.

So, this film composer goes to his doctor, and says, “Doc, I’m supposed to be finishing up a film score, but I just can’t concentrate. I wonder if there’s something wrong with me. Maybe I have Lyme Disease?”

The doctor looks at him and says, “Lyme Disease! Did you see a bullseye rash? Do you have any joint pain?”

The composer says, “Well, I’m a little sore, but I think that’s just from skiing last weekend. We went to Aspen for a few days. I was hoping the mountain air would clear my head. But no dice, I still can’t write.”

The doctor asks, “What about your reflexes? Do you notice any change in your hand-eye coordination?”

The composer says, “Hmm, nah, in fact, I just got my highest score ever playing Guitar Hero with my daughter. We play every day for a couple hours when she gets home from school. My reflexes are in tip-top shape.”

The doctor thinks for a minute, then asks, “Tell me, how many drinks do you have in a week?’

The composer shrugs and says, “Not too many, really. Maybe a beer at lunch. A couple glasses of wine at dinner. But not to excess, I’m not a real big drinker.”

The doctor nods, frowns, and says, “Hmm, I think I know what’s wrong with you. “

“You do?”

Yes,” he says. “I’m afraid, there’s something wrong with your butt.”

“With my butt?!” cries the composer, shocked.

“Yes,” says the doctor. “It’s too far from your chair!”

Do you also suffer from CBPS— Chair/Butt Proximity Syndrome? It’s a common affliction, in music as with any profession. Studying project management can help!

Project Management for Musicians

Get organized, and take charge of your music projects! This book will help you harness your creativity into clear visions and effective work plans. Whether you are producing a recording, going on tour, developing a studio, launching a business, running a marketing campaign, creating a music curriculum, or any other project in the music industry, these road-tested strategies will help you to succeed. Music projects come in all sizes, budgets, and levels of complexity, but for any project, setting up a process for planning, executing, and monitoring your work is crucial in achieving your goals. This book will help you clarify your vision and understand the work required to complete it on time, within budget, and to your highest possible quality standard. It is a comprehensive approach, with hundreds of music industry-specific tools for keeping your work on track, mitigating risk, and reducing stress, so that you can complete your project successfully. You will learn to: develop work strategies; delegate tasks; build and manage teams; organize your project office; develop production schedules; understand and organize contracts; analyze risk; and much more.